Being a teenager or young adult in a small town can be exceptionally boring, but assuming you haven’t already turned to drugs or vandalism, I’ve outlined a couple of ideas from my own teenage years to help you pass the time. When you see people wearing camouflage do you ever stop them and say something like “Hey! Where’d you go? I can’t see you, dude!” while you’re looking around all confused? Then when they give you that “are you retarded?” look say “Oh there you are. You just blend right in with the surroundings with cause you’re wearing camo.”
The funniest thing about it is that the kind of people who think it’s cool to wear camo are the same types who are super easily offended by this sort of jackass commentary. And yes, my prior statements are inclusive of any strange looking girls who took the Dolorian back to the year 1999 and returned wearing that lame pink or blue camo.
You might want to exercise caution in attempting to talk shit like this to military guys in camo. Don’t get me wrong, if properly executed it could seriously be the funniest thing you ever saw. Bear in mind that military guys are the most easily offended personality type; they can and will get butt-hurt over just about anything… and many times they’re allowed to carry concealed weapons.
On a similar yet completely unrelated note, it’s also pretty amusing to call up Taco Bell and attempt to get them to deliver your food. And if its one of those Taco Bell / Pizza Hut combo places you get the added bonus of pointing out how ridiculous it is that they won’t even deliver the Pizza Hut menu items.
A good strategy is to ask them what time they get off work and if they can just drop it off to you on their way home. Maybe even offer them a few bucks if they give you static about not wanting to do it for free.
Drag the conversation out as long as possible and when all else fails become “irate” with them. You’d be surprised the kind of verbal assault you can perpetrate upon a Taco Bell employee before they realize what’s going on and have to restrain themselves from going off on you in Spanish.
At some point during your tirade be sure demand to speak to the manager. The manager has the authority to give you a kid’s meal toy completely free of charge to attempt to make up for the inconvenience of them not delivering your food. By all means, demand your free toy. They owe you. Of course, you do have to drive over there and pick it up, but you don’t have to buy anything else. Just tell them you want your free toy; trust me, they’ll remember you.
Make it interesting by driving through the drive thru in reverse and making the person in the rear passenger side seat roll down the window and do the talking.
